The Light Is Tilting...

We hiked up to Colorado's only real geyser, up the West Fork near Dunton. The dogs ran, the girls goofed with each other while they hiked up the trail, and then sat around the stinky milky pool of water until it bubbled up...

 then it was down the aspen clad hill collecting firewood to go cook hotdogs over and then the summer was over.

Today, the house is quiet, the dogs are sleeping and the light is beginning to tilt sideways...Fall is thinking about coming and I'm ready!

IF: Atmosphere

"Mothergoose flying up through the atmosphere to the moon"Actually this is my entry to the Rocky Mountain SCBWI conference mid September for the brochure and merchandizing on the book bags and coffee mugs. It is the Denver skyline looking towards the Rockies. It did not win, but got another portfolio piece for the Portfolio Showcase at the National SCBWI Conference in LA a few weeks ago.
I will  be on a first book panel discussion at the Rocky Mountain Conference. My first -doing the illustration packaging for Group, working with NPR and Babybug this year. Check out the brochure here.

Interesting....

I read the book, well actually listened, twice, driving this way and that to Denver and Las Vegas this summer. I find reading books I might not agree with...well, interesting and Eat, Pray, Love, is definitely interesting.
It is a book about a women, who basically does a one- eighty on everything domestic- her husband, the plan to have children, her entire life.
Contrary to the movie, if you haven't read the book- she came to this realization during an artist's friends open house- scheduled just weeks after the artist gave birth- so for Elizabeth- it was the image of the artist, literally leaking breast milk through her cocktail dress and trying to take care of her newborn -trying to sell her art in her home, with her unhelpful husband that was the turning point for Elizabeth Gilbert-- who had many a panic attack in her bathroom- before she broke away from her life.
Yes she ate pasta in Italy, amongst sexy Italians, and then searched her soul in India, but the end result for her and now what I would bet many a lonely woman are now holding on to across the country, making their own pilgrimages to see the movie, with copies of the book on their nightstand- is that just maybe, oh maybe- the universe that desperately wants to throw out good things to all who ask- might after a year of self discovery, give all who ask their own sexy, romantic, already had children and neutered Brazilian who wants nothing more than to worship the ground you walked on, sing your praises and meet your every desire.
Now there is a dose of reality for ya!
On a side note, just read this morning that her husband who was so horribly portrayed in the film- actually took his own journey of healing and discovery- traveling to third world countries and did humanitarian work. Elizabeth did email all her friend and raised enough money to build a needy friend in Indonesia a new home.
Do I think Elizabeth Gilbert should not of chosen the life she did- of course not. Or that she should of not changed her mind midstream- not for me to judge. I hope the best for her- she is a gifted writer and speaker and obviously I enjoy reading her work.
But, my whole philosophy of life apparently runs opposite of hers- I am a wife, going on twenty years, I am a mother, going on seventeen, I am an artist and I am a writer and yes I have given up things, not done things, not gone places both literally and figuratively because of my....here is the thing I think Elizabeth decided she did not want- commitments.
Before I got married, I had dreams of Paris, and art, New York and publishing, or LA and flim- and frankly I think I could of done well- been successful- but where am I?
I am in sagebrush and red dirt, living where the man I love- grew up, raising his children and tolerating his aging father who lives next door and often smells like the horse and often track mud into my house. But, now with my girls older and in less need of me, I am trying to stretch as far as I can towards LA and New York, and do something else , express myself somehow.
It all reminds me of a long time ago, when daughter #1 was just a baby and we decide to go camping- and we took all the baby gear we could fit in our jeep and headed to the mountains. Well, apparently we decided we needed something else, so stopped in a grocery store in Telluride, Colorado and I ran in, while they waited in the car.
It was surreal, me walking down an aisle as a women my age came towards me. She looked at me and I looked at her- frosted blonde hair, perfectly applied makeup, a white slip dress, high heeled shoes- we passed each other- me thinking, "who the heck comes to the grocery store looking like that?", I could tell she was also questioning me, though it was not until I headed to the grocery store restroom, that I realized that still nursing, I was engorged and my sweatshirt was soaked with breast milk.
Yes, I was probably the epiphany for another woman's decision Not to have children!
But for me- motherhood is the great gift and the great act I can do on this earth. It is the greatest privilege I have- to literally create life inside me. My arms still sometime ache, wishing to hold my babies again.
Yes, women have been beat up throughout history, entrapped in lives they did not want- I quoted little Lucy- in my previous blog- who at a young age defined her fate as a wife in how many tiny stitches she would have to put in her future husband's coat and pantaloons.
The few post before that is Rapunzel, saving herself, not needing a prince. An interesting fact in Eat, Pray,Love is that apparently Elizabeth had never gone more than two weeks, without being involved with a man and she had the tendency to morph into whoever she was with and lose herself.
Something we as women can do- easily- but I just think it is time to celebrate what makes us unique as woman- we are creators of life, nurtures and often more connected to the spiritual and emotional worlds, while also celebrating what makes men unique as well in their bravery and strength, their ability to focus and ability to protect to their own deaths. The steadiness they can give us- Jon is my rock, I call him a glacier- but he allows me to go here and there because I am always anchored to him.
I could never raise my girls without him- to be complete - they need the attributes he gives them- fathers are NOT a optional accessory, contrary to a lot of well known actress who are fueling the $%#$# idea they can do motherhood on their own.
It is the coming together of the separate but equal enmities that is....sorry for those that think the universe just spits out good things.... what God intended.
Nurturing and Protecting- the heart and the head- these are the attributes of God- which are brought forth in Male and Female.
But I digress..
I just hate this "polarization" we do in America- Eat, Pray, Love is an extreme solution to what many, many women struggle with, feeling like they are trapped in a life, with hopes and desires they might never realize.
I had a heart to heart with a friend not that long ago- who feels imprisoned by her life, but unlike Elizabeth, having children and no book deal to fund it, she did not have the freedom to travel the world to figure things out.
We didn't solve her conundrum- but each having daughter- we agreed they needed the freedom to come into their own, do a little exploring both literally and figuratively before making their own decision about what they wanted out of life.
I am not going lie- I hope for my daughters that includes being a mother and a wife...eventually.

Nonfiction Monday: Anonymous Was A Women by Mirra Banks

From Lucy Larcom, A New England Girlhood. 1889

" The thought came over me with sudden dread one Sabbeth morning when I was a toddling thing, led along by my sister, behind my father and mother. As they walked arm in arm before me, I lifted my eyes from my father's  heels to  his head, and mused: "How tall he is! And how long his coat and pantaloons! And I suppose I have got to grow up and have a husband, and put all those little stitches into his coats and pantaloons. Oh, I never, never can do it!"

I love this book and love this quote- that a little girl could already grasp her fate- that there was no other option for her other than to be a wife and mother- for her sheer survival- and little Lucy, was gauging that by how many stitches she would have to put in her future husbands clothers-! 

Anonymous Was A Women, might of been created in the late 1970's, with words from a hundred years before that- and wonderful images of these girls piece work- but the hopes and emotions that come through in their diaries- still echoes today!  

 Go To - Tammy's Flander's blog- Apples With Many Seeds for a blog roll of other great Nonfiction Books.

IF: "Star Gazing"

" Blue Boy also dreamed of the stars, swirling in the night sky, and the dancers, swaying to the drums, by the light of the flickering fires."

NF Monday: Restless Spirit- the Life and Works of Dorothea Lange

I wanted to start participating in "Nonfiction Monday- (blog links over at Mom Inspired Learning this week) featuring bloggers picks of the best of todays Nonfiction which is an exciting market in Publishing at the moment- especially in Children's Publishing and since I just got back from the Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators National Conference in LA- I have lots to choose from and so today I pick one of my favorite authors, Elizabeth Partridge, at the conference from which I took a great photo research workshop from.

Several years ago, Elizabeth did a book on  Dorothea Lange, a wonderful photographer from the Great Depression that took the most soulful photo's of our country's hardships. Ms. Lange also happened to be Elizabeth's Godmother.

IF- "Caged"

This is literally a reposting from the previous post on my trip to LA for the SCBWI Conference- but I just realized it fits the theme of "Caged" perfectly- or better what you should do when you realize you are in a cage- which, can come in deceiving pleasant packaging- with white horses and princes-  it just accord to me to ask why if a Hero could climb up to save her, why she never just didn't climb down- Do you have an answer?

Here's what I learned...

Just got back from my yearly pilgrimage to LA for the Society of Children's Writers and Illustrators Conference...wow!

From Jon Scieszka, ...

I laughed till my sides hurt and was reminded of all the somewhat "disturbing" children's books from our era like one involving a rather voyeristic chat through a bathroom window!

M.T. Anderson made me laugh too...

and he could of been a broadway singer and dancer or can really put together an impromto preformance on the State of Delaware.

Deborah Heiligman... 

in her breakout session on Nonfiction- "You can' make this stuff up" prompted me to go out and buy a kids book on Darwin ( because hers was already sold out at the conference book shop)

Loren Long...

reminded me both in his keynote and in his breakouts for illusrators that instead of getting overwhelmed with the big huge project- just remember you need to do "one sketch a day"

William Low..

gave me some Photoshop tips that will be worth their weight in gold- lots of "ahh ha" moments in his techy breakout session.

Elizabeth Partridge....

probably inspired me the most and was the nicest lady! Her book on Dorthea Lange, that took the most moving photo in the Great Depression and was Elizabeth's godmother- is the one I desperately want to find and pour over. Elizaebeth gave the most wonderful break out on photo research and the power of photography in nonfiction. 

Paul Fleischman....

gave some great tips in how to organize the great mass of information you acquire in writing a YA novel 

EB Lewis...

  gave a wonderful ketnote, coming into Children's Publishing, from the Fine Arts. He talked alot about how he shoots reference photos and later that day, just by chance we sat together in the pool lounge and had dinner- and talked about Mesa Verde, researching archives, train rides- mine to LA and his in Africa- and another friend at the table, Keisha- had us laughing listening to her adventure involving chickens, riding on the bus in Africa. This is what is so wonderful about this conference the interesting, really nice people, you meet from all over the world.

Gail Carson Levine...

also gave some wonderful tips on how to map out your idea and cover all the bases before you dive into the meat of writing your first draft- and discovered she has a great blog for writers too- where she takes questions. 

 I had an imprompt chat in the hall wih my friend Richard Jesse Waston, (we met through our blogs)

his son ,Jesse Watson

and their friend Steve Bjorkman-

all well established illustrators who could not of been more encouraging to me- someone just starting out- Thank you!!

As usual, the conference made me feel like my head was going to explode- not just the keynotes and the workshops, but the mornings and evening spent just sitting around the hotel lounge and letting "serendipity" bring people to talk to and learn from. Actually it wasn't "chance" it was a blessing from God- and I am ever greatful!  Also did the Portfolio Showcase and here is a new illustration I got ready for it- my website is on the list to "spit shine" - it is in great need , but have some new ideas of directions to go- from the conference and as Loren Long said- I need to just think of the thing I need to do today!

IF- "Double"

The Illustration Friday theme this week is "Double". This is a very old illustration I used for a Valentine's Day card, which is good, because I am up to my eyeballs on getting ready to go to LA for the SCBWI National Conference- Anybody else going?

A Pollyanna look at rejection...

    So on a whim, I entered my screenplay on the beginning of archeology and tourism at Mesa Verde in the late 1800's into the Nicholl Fellowship Screenwriting Contest., considered one of the few competition for new writers that Hollywood takes slightly seriously. 5 Fellows are chosen from over 6,000 applicants, given $30,000 dollars and a year to write another script, which Hollywood insiders pay attention to, something a lot of writing contest can't claim.
Well, I didn't win.
But I'm actually kind of excited....
6,300 scripts were submitted this year- each was read one time, if it received a favorable read- it went on to a second read.
Mine, went on for a second read- so the playing field went from 6,300 to 2,900, which tells me.... I can actually write a script, not talking about a brilliant script, but I know the structure of screenplay writing, can create a story with a beginning, middle and end, have enough of a grasp of grammar that some underpaid reader in Hollywood didn't cringe and toss the script onto the reject pile like in 15 seconds!
The scripts are read a second time, so the playing field went from 2,900 to 900- and guess what I got another favorable read! Which means my standing in 6,300 scripts was 15%- ( gosh, I feel like this would make a great word problem in Math class!) 15% tells me- hey- I can write a decent story- that is somewhat interesting and is exciting enough to hold a reader's attention that is basically locked in a very small room like the girl in Rumplestilkin, with a very large pile of scripts and she can't have lunch till she reads them all, I'll take that!
Well, these 900 scripts were read again and this time instead of getting a pass or fail, they were scored, and well, no go, my script did not hit the 20% off the 900 scripts need to go to the next stage, which is the top 180 out of 6,300 scripts.
The 180 scripts will be cut to 30 scripts and then to 5 Fellows.
Sure, I had ideas of grandeur, that standing in the long line of "want to be" script writes, a slick back dark haired Hollywood type executive with a big bodyguard, all dressed in black of course with the dark sunglasses would mosey right towards me, unclip the velvet rope barricade, inform me I could go into the V.I.P. section of glory and well, go all around the monopoly board and collect my $30,000 dollars.
But I kind of knew that wasn't going to happen.
What I really hoped for, and think was confirmed- was that the two lowly readers that read my 120 pages of words and ideas pulled from somewhere in the back of my head, did not laugh themselves silly with my delusions of being a writer and head to their favorite coffee shop and continue to have a good laugh with all their other reader type friends over my expanse.
It might be "Pollyanna-ish" - But I am happy I'm in the pack, not at the front of it, but at least I am in the pack.

So.....yeah..Fire?

So, Monday I was up here...

In Telluride, Colorado, about 70 miles away from my home. A friend who has a house up there, invited me up to just hang. So took my work and really didn't do much of it, instead just hung out looking at the amazing San Miguel mountains and breathed in the air at like 8500 ft.

It was a glorious day, until Jon called, " Sooo...just in theory, but what do you want me to take out of the house, incase we have to evacuate because of the fire?"

me- "Fire?"

Jon- "It a small fire at the bottom of the canyon, at least a fourth of a mile away."

Me- " ahhhhhhhhhh? Fire?"

Jon- "They have a bomber ( i.e. a big belly plane that drops chemicals on the fire) circling in the air but haven't used it yet. And the foam truck ( which they can encase an entire house with if need be) just went down the road....I'm sure it is fine, but what do you want me to take if they evacuate us?"

Me- " ahhhh the kid's pictures and my artwork"

Which I realized was all in the same place, in the far corner of my studio- the farthest room from any exit out of the house- that is smart.

Jon- " ok, got to go soak the tree break with the irrigation water"

Apparently all the neighbor were turning their water on towards  the rim of the canyon- we are on top at the start of a flat mesa.

I get off the phone, and wander down towards the coffee shop, should I race home? Then I remember one more thing that would be heartbreaking to lose in a fire, so I call back.

Me- "the quilts"

We have two of Jon's granmothers quilts, circa 1920s, hand stitched.

Me-" the rugs"

And we have several Navajo rugs circa 1960 and 70s from his parents buying days traveling the Southwest to supply their Western Tac store in Chicago .

Jon- "okay- it looks like they are getting it under control, probably fine now."

Me- "Okay?"

By the time I get home, the fire is out, it rains the next night and with the windows open the house stinks, fire smell is on of those smells that stays with you.

So yesterday I walk down the canyon with the dog and take pics of the damage.

This was an apple tree.

So walking back up the canyon, I see a growing column of smoke coming from a pile of brush the firefighters had piled up, and poof, it burst into flames while I watched, so yeah, called 911 and a crew came out and took care of the hot spot. Fire Season is just starting around here....yeah!

I'm really good at this promotion thing...

I got in Babybug and totally forgot to tell anyone about it- Actually I was really hyped to first of May- the issue is the May/June and my poem was called Tickle, about a little Polynesian girl who finds an exotic bird feather and tickles her brother with it.I would go to Magpie Newstand Cafe over in Durango, first of every week looking for it and since I have been traveling been checking the various Barnes and Nobles bookstores along the way. Apparently when it is a two month span for the magazine, they are not so quick to get the next edition out. Well, I probably found it the eighth time I had head into a magazine shop in anticipation, but finally there it was and I opened it to find..... the color sucked!
Not Baybug's fault at all, they were an absolute delight to work with- it was my fault- I did the color editing and that wasn't even the problem, what was- the fabric- I should of known better, I knew better, that super saturated colors do NOT photograph well, muted midtone colors with just a little bit of highlight and extreme darks look so much better, but it was Hawaii and all I could think of, apparently, was the bright colors of Hawaii. grrrrr. I hope they are happy with it and learned my lesson, even restarted a illustration I am doing for a promotion in the Fall over- when I realized the how crappy the blue in the sky had looked in Babybug- and was using the same blue fabric. 
I have learned that usually if I put something like that aside for a while and look at it again- it is not as bad as it seems like the first time. Here is hoping! And here is the illustrations-

SF Trip: Muir Woods

We drove up  the curvy and dippy HWY 1 North up the coast from San Francisco, apparently it takes not being able to see the perilous drop off into the sea because of fog to get me car sick- Colorado's winding mountain roads don't usually bother me, because I can see the 1000 foot drop off to death.
We perused the little villages along the way, watched the committed surfers in their full wet suits brave the waves and on the way back down stopped at Muir Woods National Monument.